


I'm Not Interested In Girls...

by KassandraScarlett



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Confused Zayn, F/M, Female Louis Tomlinson, Female Niall Horan, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Sad Louis, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-07-17 19:07:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16101929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KassandraScarlett/pseuds/KassandraScarlett
Summary: ... if it isn't you.





	I'm Not Interested In Girls...

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so we've got those stories where A is a complete ladies' man and has dated/slept with all the coolest and most beautiful girls. B is his gay best friend who's been in love with A for ages, who has no idea. A finds out and doesn't know what to do, tries to find a way around it that won't hurt B because they're best friends and he doesn't want to hurt B. Then he sees B kissing a guy and gets jealous and realises he's been in love with B too and blah, blah, blah, the end.  
> This is that story, inverted.

  The music was loud and the dance floor was crowded with people anywhere between high school junior and college senior. Zayn wasn't entirely too sure how anyone was supposed to find anyone in here, but he trusted Louis' uncanny ability to find him wherever and whenever.

  So, instead he kept drinking from his scotch and eyeing the prospects for the night.

  "Find anyone, yet?"

  "Nope," he popped the ' _p_ ', looking beside him as Louis swung her legs from the barstool she'd just hopped on, face drenched in sweat from dancing. "I've been here for literally one hour and found no one. Not a single hot guy who isn't already taken."

  "What about that one?" Louis nodded towards the centre of the dance floor, snagging his drink and taking a sip.

  Zayn followed her gaze and landed on two tall college freshmen. "They're in our year. The lighter blond isn't really my type. And the darker blond, well," he sighed. "If you can lure him away from his girlfriend, I'll let you in on a threesome."

  "I don't share," Louis bit back. "And I was talking about the lighter blond. What do you mean, ' _he's not your type_ '?"

  "I mean he isn't my type."

  Louis peered at him closely, her blue eyes sharp thanks to having drunk at least four less shots than him. "Zayn, be honest with me," she requested. "What kind of a standard do you measure them against? Because if you're comparing them with what you see in the mirror, then it's a wonder that you ever get laid. You are literally the most gorgeous person in here."

  "Actually." Zayn lifted a finger in protest. "The most gorgeous person in here is you, Lou. That's why I only date guys." The first part was actually true. Sexual preference aside, Zayn was, first and foremost, an artist, who knew to appreciate beauty. And Louis Tomlinson was a masterpiece.

  She had caramel brown hair cut till her shoulders so it curled around her angular face, blue-gray eyes framed by feathery lashes, thin rose-pink lips, razor sharp cheekbones to rival his own and an even sharper tongue that left people either clutching their sides with laughter or crying their eyes out. She was the star football player of their university and it showed in her strong limbs and deceptively delicate body. She was, like Zayn had just told her, gorgeous.

  "Sure, sure, whatever," Louis waved it off, rolling her eyes in exasperation.

  "I'm serious."

  Something flashed through Louis' eyes, but she turned away before Zayn could decipher it and he... He _hated_ that.

  He'd been friends with Louis for almost six years now and he knew pretty much everything there was to know about her. But there were still moments like this when he had no idea what she was thinking and it drove him mad.

  "Zayn," Louis called his name and he looked up to see her staring at the entrance of the club. Looking there, he found the person: a boy, maybe nineteen or twenty, with a buzz cut and strong features. Even from here, Zayn could see the full lips, the muscles underneath his jacket. He looked bored, and that meant he was alone.

  Zayn smirked and stood up. "You do give me the best gifts, Lou," he joked.

  Louis laughed. "Only because I know you so well."

 

* * *

 

  Zayn cursed, low and hurried, as he skid to a stop in front of his English class. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the instructor hadn't arrived yet and walked in to sit beside Louis, who raised her eyebrows at him.

  "Nice night?"

  "The best." He grinned back at her and she smiled indulgently.

  "Yeah, I know." He gave her a questioning look and she smiled. "He's in my Sociology class. Liam Payne. He's the one who introduced me to Harry."

  Zayn frowned. "Harry? Harry Styles?" He prodded. The name of the musical prodigy of the college was well known to everyone.

  Louis nodded. "Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. He asked me out this weekend."

  Zayn took the news with a pinch of salt. Since sixteen years old, Louis gave her heart easily and completely and always to the wrong people. Then, last year, Exton Grace had publicly made out with Nicole Greene, Louis' number one rival in football, all the while aware that Louis had been part of the crowd watching. Zayn remembered the nights of holding her close as she cried herself to sleep, of forcing her to eat and keep herself healthy. She'd been heartbroken and the incident had only increased Zayn's protectiveness tenfold. She hadn't had been on a single date since then, so Styles must have been really impressive to get her attention.

  "Stop thinking whatever you're thinking," Louis chided.

  "I don't want you to get hurt, Louis," he sighed.

  "Well, I won't, I'll be more careful," she promised. "It's only one date."

 

* * *

 

  "What's wrong with you?" Trisha demanded. "You've been moping all evening."

  Zayn groaned, dropping his head on the back of the sofa. "I'm bored," he whined.

  "Call Louis, then, she's almost the only one who can handle you all the time."

  He scowled at his mother. "She's on a date."

  Trisha paused. "And how are you feeling about that?" She asked.

  He frowned, not comprehending the gently cautious tone of her voice. "Just a little worried, I guess. If he hurts her, I might just actually break some part of his anatomy." He didn't actually think he would get the chance. Harry Styles seemed to be genuinely interested in Louis, if a little fast. They'd been on four dates, five now, and had slept together on the third. Louis looked happy, as happy as she had been with Exton Grace and Zayn couldn't stop feeling like something was going to go wrong. The uneasiness he felt whenever Louis talked about him, all excited and fond, was making him nervous and even more protective. Worse so, because Louis had absolutely refused to let him meet the guy before at least seven dates.

  "You'll scare him off," she'd told him sternly. Woe be the person who tried to defy Louis when she was that serious.

  That night, as Zayn lay in bed, trying to fall asleep, a sharp knock on his third floor windows jerked him awake. For a second, he wondered if he'd misheard. Then another knock, and he was scrambling to throw back his curtains, unable to believe that his fool of a best friend was crouching on his window sill, one hand poised to knock, the other gripping the fire escape.

  "What is wrong with you?" He hissed and Louis giggled, stumbling in. He caught her around the waist just in time and realized she was drunk. "Aren't you supposed to be with Harry?" He questioned, already planning on finding the boy and chewing him out for not dropping his date at her front door.

  "He called 'nd said his band had a last minute practice for that gig of his next week," Louis sighed out, her words slurring. "So I decided I wanted to get drunk."

  Zayn rolled his eyes. "Well, you're obviously bunking here tonight," he muttered. Bending slightly to hook an arm around her legs, he carried her to his bed then texted Jay so she wouldn't worry. "You could have called me," he offered, setting the phone aside and sitting beside her.

  Louis clicked her tongue and pulled him down so she could flick her tongue at his nose. He let her, scrunching his face up and making her laugh. "I don't like getting drunk in front of you, Zaynie," she told him. "Not a good idea."

  He frowned. Thinking back on it, he couldn't remember a single time in the last year when Louis had let herself get flat-out drunk with him around. "Why not?" He asked, laying down beside her.

  She automatically burrowed into his chest and in return, he wound his arm around her small waist, her lemony shampoo faint but obvious. "Might tell you," she mumbled into his T-shirt.

  "Tell me what?"

  She sighed, her breath hot against his neck. "Tell you that I love you."

  Zayn froze; his fingers, which had been drawing circles into her hip, stilled and he felt something stuck in his chest.

  "Been over a year now," she continued, unaware of his inner turmoil. "You never noticed. You call me gorgeous, and you get my tea perfect and you know what songs I sing in the shower, but you still. Don't. Notice."

  His heart was beating too fast now and it was a wonder that Louis couldn't hear it. Some part of him wanted to move away, wanted to tell her to go to sleep. But there was something else in him that wanted, needed, to hear this, hear Louis' drunken, vulnerable confessions. Something in him that wanted her closer, wanted her head on his chest and their fingers intertwined and fall asleep like that.

  And that scared him.

  "But that's okay," she whispered. "It's okay, 'cause I'm your best friend and at least you'll never look at any other girl except me. So, it's okay." She paused for a second, then shifted in his arms. "I love you, Z," she breathed against his skin and Zayn felt shaky lips press softly to his throat, before she fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

  He shouldn't have been able to fall asleep, but apparently the human body had its limits. He woke up alone and, for a second, panicked that Louis had left him _(he refused to examine the reasons for panicking)_ , then felt somebody watching him. Opening his eyes, he was momentarily blinded by dark blue, before focusing. Louis was sitting up, watching him with an amused smile. "Your morning on a Sunday is a normal person's afternoon," she scolded him and he looked behind her to read the clock. "I woke up hours ago, went home, showered, talked to Harry, had breakfast, came back here, and you're still asleep. Remind me which one of us was fully wasted again?"

  Zayn didn't move. The last words she'd said before falling asleep were still ringing in his ears. He kept staring at her, ignoring the urge to cuddle her and go back into blissful oblivion.

  "Zayn?" She tilted her head at him and he noticed the nervousness in her eyes.

  "What do you remember of last night?" He asked abruptly, sitting up reluctantly.

  She shrugged nonchalantly. "I remember knocking on your window," she said. "Everything else is a blur." She bit her lip. "Why? What did I say?"

  The lie was out before he could stop it. "Well, I think you wrote an ode to Harry's ' _sexual prowess_ ', as you called it. And it was full of information I really didn't want. Or need."

  Louis laughed, relief colouring the sound.

 

* * *

 

  "What do you mean you're not coming with me?" Zayn demanded as pulled on the blue jeans.

  Louis was sprawled across his bed, her eyes firmly fixed on her phone as he changed. It was weird, but ever since that night, Zayn was noticing small things he'd never seen before. They'd always been comfortable in their own skin, enough to undress in front of each other. But now he could see that Louis never actually looked straight at him, choosing instead to focus on something else.

  "I mean, I'm not coming," Louis snapped mildly. "Just because _you_ don't take math, doesn't mean _I_ don't. Calculus is still a bitch and I've got a test on Tuesday."

  Zayn frowned. "Alright," he conceded with a scowl.

 

* * *

 

  Rebecca's 21st birthday bash was a big affair. With a house that size, practically everyone in the college was invited. Zayn was having a hard time finding anybody he knew better than as a familiar face in class, but he didn't really mind. He had a feeling he wouldn't be very good company now. He missed Louis. She was almost always at his side, chattering constantly and roping him into spiking the drinks if it wasn't already. But she wasn't here now and why, why did he feel the stabbing need to go to her?

  He couldn't possibly be... Be in love with her. Right? For god's sake, he hadn't been interested in girls for years. _Or maybe_ , a traitorous voice in his head cut in. _Maybe_ , he just hadn't been interested in any girls because Louis was the only one he spent any quality time with. And he'd never looked at her that way. Or maybe he had and never realized it.

  _Fuck_. Was he attracted to her? Was that it? He closed his eyes for a few seconds, leaning against the house as he tilted his face up to the night sky. He'd said it before and he'd say it a hundred times more: Louis was beautiful to look at. There was just no denying that fact. And sure, yeah, he'd sometimes idly wondered whether her lips were as soft as they looked, or how dark her eyes went when she was aroused, or how the guitar callouses on her fingers might feel over his bare skin. But surely that didn't mean he was actually _attracted_ to her.

  Next question: did he love her? That was an easy one. Of course, Zayn loved her. She'd helped him get over his shyness, had brought him out of his shell. She'd stood up for him in front of bullies who were thrice as big as her. She'd encouraged him to try out for theatre with her. Zayn wouldn't be half the person he was now if it weren't for Louis. So yes he loved her. But that didn't mean he was _in_ love with her. Because it didn't make _sense_. That he'd fall for one girl and never look at another, especially since he'd never had any relationship last longer than three months.

  "Something on your mind, love?"

  The Irish twang had him looking up to see a pretty blond smiling down at him. He'd never seen her before, so she was probably one of Rebecca's friends from out of town.

  "Um, you could say that," he replied. He watched the way her eyes widened slightly when he smiled back at her and the thought struck him that he needed to understand what he was feeling. It was probably a shitty thing to experiment on someone like that, but he was desperate. And in any case, it wasn't as if he was ever gonna see this girl again.

  "M'Zayn," he introduced himself and held out a hand. He was momentarily taken aback by the familiar callouses on her fingers, then scolded himself. There were lots of people who played guitar. Even that Payne guy had.

 

* * *

 

  Rage and pain danced through her veins as she stood frozen outside Rebecca's house, just in the view of two people making out madly against the side of the house, partially hidden by shrubs. She couldn't see either of their faces, but she'd recognise that coiffed hair and angular shoulders anywhere. It was Zayn. She didn't need to confirm it. And he was kissing a girl. A. _Girl_. That _wasn't_ _her_.

  "Louis?"

  The deep voice had her blinking back the tears suddenly springing in her eyes and she turned to see Harry. His curly hair was held back by a headband and he was smiling sweetly at her in surprise.

  "I thought you were studying?" He inquired, pecking her on the lips and settled an arm around her shoulders. Louis tried to relax into his hold.

  "Took a break." She shrugged. "Figured I might as well come down here for a while."

  "I'm glad you did," Harry said sincerely, before smirking at her, slow and mischievous. "It was starting to get boring anyway. But now you're here... Wanna find someplace quiet and make out?"

  For a split second, Louis wanted to say ' _no_ '. But then she thought of Zayn, snogging a girl and her heart broke a little more. "You know what?" She decided. "I wanna do exactly that."

 

* * *

 

  It felt all wrong. And not for the reasons he expected.

  It wasn't as if he'd never kissed a girl before, or even had sex with one. He had. Twice. But that had been four years ago, when he was still not sure about himself.

  Kissing wasn't all that different, really, just a little softer.

  But this? This was just... _Wrong_. Every time he pulled back to take a breath, the soft, baby features and unfamiliar blue eyes took him by surprise. He kept expecting a sly smirk, a sarcastic comment, the lemony scent of shampoo.

  As he ran his tongue over hers, the girl abruptly pulled away. "You really have got something big on your mind, don't you?" She asked.

  Zayn sighed. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I needed to stop thinking about somebody else and I just...."

  The blonde, Niall, he remembered her name was, laughed. "Well, despite what people tell you, snogging someone else doesn't actually make things better. Go deal with it, that'll help more."

  Zayn had to admit she was right. A few minutes later, he was back inside the house, trying to figure out a way to ' _deal_ ' with his problem. He had to talk to Louis. Niall had solved part of the problem. He wasn't attracted to girls. Did that mean Louis was an exception? And if she was, did that also mean that he was in love with her?

  He stepped onto the kitchen, hoping to get a drink. Everybody was out in the living room dancing, so he wasn't expecting to find a couple in there, obviously busy. He was about to bow out quietly but they must have heard him, because they suddenly broke apart and Zayn felt his blood ice up.

  Louis was pressed against the corner, boxed in by a tall, gangly boy immediately recognisable as Harry Styles. Hot jealousy filled him and his eyes narrowed as they travelled over the scene: Louis' arm looped around his neck, one finger hooked in his belt loops; Styles' hands pressing into her hips, just above her ass.

  Zayn _hated_ it.

  "Louis, would you come with me please?" He asked, quietly.

  Louis seemed to do so for a second, when her eyes narrowed and she leaned further against the corner. "No," was all she said.

  "Lou-"

  "No, Zayn," she replied coldly. "I'm going to stay here and you're going to leave."

  Zayn almost hissed in frustration. "No, Louis, this is important-"

  "Mate, honestly, just leave us alone for a while, yeah? She doesn't want to talk to you now," Styles cut in, letting Louis go to face him, voice firm and demanding.

  Zayn glared at him. "Stay out of this," he growled.

  "Excuse me, this is my girlfriend you're talking to. Who do you even think you are-?"

  "I'm her boyfriend!" The words were out before he could stop them and Louis pushed off from the counter in disbelief.

  "What!?"

  Ignoring her, Styles stepped towards him, his green eyes bright with annoyance and Zayn matched the movement evenly.

  "Guys, guys, wait! STOP!" Louis suddenly hurried to stand between them. "Harry, I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? I promise. Just let me deal with this now," she implored in a soft voice.

  Harry continued to glare at him, but after a second, he obeyed and left the kitchen.

  Louis turned to him, her expression harsh. "Follow me," she ordered and he did.

  She was going outside, heading towards the park. The walk was silent, with Louis fuming and Zayn shocked. He was only just coming to terms with what had happened. The biting envy he'd felt didn't make sense.

  "YOU!" Louis hissed, spinning around to face him when they'd reached the swings. "You are _not_ my boyfriend."

  "Oh so he is?!" Was his retort, but he also wanted to hear the answer.

  "Yes, actually, he _is_ ," she snapped. "Or at least, he _was_ , because I'm pretty sure he's going to break up with me tomorrow, thanks to you."

  "Good."

  Louis threw her hands up in exasperation. " _What_ the actual  _fuck_  is wrong with you?" She half screamed. "You get to kiss a girl, when you haven't even looked at one in years, but I get a boyfriend after a whole year and you throw a fit?"

  Zayn flushed. He hadn't realised she'd seen him with Niall. "That was nothing," he protested. "I left her after just a few minutes."

  "Doesn't explain why you were with her in the first place!"

  "I was just... Why does it matter to you if I suddenly like girls?"

  "Why does it matter to you whether I'm with Harry or not?"

  "Because, I CAN'T STAND IT!" He roared. "I hate it! I hate seeing you with him, because I literally only just realized I'm in love with you and seeing that made me feel like I'm losing you before I ever even had you."

  Louis was stock still, but Zayn knew it was true. Nobody, nobody else would ever know her as well as he did. Nobody would ever know the face she made when he did something really stupid, or how she lit up around kids, or the way her eyes went wide and beseeching when she was trying to drag him into something that would get them in trouble. They wouldn't know how to bring her out when she refused to come out of her room for two days after losing a game where she'd failed to take the winning goal. Or how to talk her back to earth when she got lost in her head for too long.

  They'd never be able to appreciate the enigma she was, the pure kindness she radiated, the soft heart behind her sassy demeanor, the secrets she kept locked in a metal vault and gaurded by dragons.

  "Since when?" Louis asked faintly.

  "I only realized it just now," Zayn mumbled. "It's been on my head for two weeks, since your last date with... With him. You were drunk and... And you told me that... That you love me."

  Louis shut her eyes. "Of course," she said bitterly.

  "This isn't a pity confession," Zayn tried to assure her, knowing exactly where her self-deprecating thoughts were going. "I don't even know if I'm attracted to girls in general, or if you're special, but I don't think it matters. Not anymore, because, Lou, I _love_ you! Always have. I just... You know I'm a bit stupid when it comes to stuff like this."

  She opened her eyes, the dark blue burning with unshed tears. "For serious?" She asked, her voice trembling.

  "Serious," he promised, taking a cautious step towards her. When she didn't move, he got closer, until he could touch her. He cradled her jaw in his hand, like uncountable times before. She met his gaze, bright and burning as always. Their lips met, slow and careful, afraid of breaking the tranquility that had fallen over them.

  The kiss was nothing like he'd pictured. It was gentle and strangely familiar, the taste of alcohol still lingering on the skin. Zayn felt warm all over, like he always did around Louis, but now it was stronger.

  Louis pulled away, though Zayn didn't let her go too far. "I love you, too," Louis whispered. "In case it wasn't obvious."

  "It was obvious," he sighed. "I'm just a blind idiot."

  Her mouth curved up in a shy smile and he kissed her again briefly, before she tucked her face into his neck and hugged him. He wound his arms around her waist and held her tight. He'd be an even bigger idiot if he let her go now.

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr: bad-days-and-beautiful-nights


End file.
